Rambles in my head

Life has been pretty tough lately..work like a dog, rush back home and do all the housewife thing..it’s like..urghh!! Frankly, i love my duty as a wife n mommy, but somehow with extra pressure and workload in the office, I’m just getting sick ..life is getting sickening and I’m sick of my office environment..i’m not physically tired but hate my office, the people there and my working life..

SICK OF THE JOURNEY TO OFFICE
SICK OF THE ENVIRONMENT IN OFFICE
SICK OF THE PEOPLE WHOSE PRIDE ARE ERUPTING OVER THEIR HEAD

Hmmm.

I’ve been an absent-minded person lately, is it because of my working life pressure, or being a super busy working mommy, or is it because of me thinking to much..i dunno. I guess I think a lot..a lot of things inside my head. I always think and brainstorm about anything/anyone be it working matters or rubbish thought.. like yesterday I was late from office and I rushed back home like hell and while driving, nothing else in my head except of thinking very HARD of what to cook...irina is now sharing a meal with us,meaning she’s now taking a rice with any lauk pauk that I cooked .. so to adjust with hubby and my baby’s appetite is aint easy..there must be kuah yg tak pedas,then sambal utk dapatkan pedas then ikan/ayam/telur goreng and also veggies..sometimes I really ran out of idea of what to cook, blank..everyday fikir benda yg sama..so cool huh my brain exercise…tough job I tell you..

then, while driving i was listening to HOT.FM and there’s one caller on air tell on how she accidentally caught her husband cheating on her..

“ satu hari tu suami saya terhantar salah msg kat saya, dia nak hantar kat gf dia tp terhantar kat saya..msg tu tulis..sori fifi abg takleh call,abg busy harini kita ckp esok la yer,rindu kat fifi..”

“dahtu awak tak marah suami awak ke” asked the DJ…”marah..dan skarang budak perempuan tu bakal menjadi madu saya..”

The world has stopped making sense.

Then I think again..after perah2 otak pecah kepala memikir on what to cook, I think about this caller..i tried to put myself at her place..what if my hubby did the same thing?what if there’s another woman in his life besides me?what if he asks for polygamy?what if..what if..it dragged on till I reached home dan tak semena2 I felt suspicious..ni tadi on the way balik laki aku tak call pun mcm slalu, ada apa2 ke ni?ni msg bunyi ni ntah sapa ler tu..and the cerekarama goes on and on..mmm,good example on the Cause and Effect subject...crazy heh? See I told u,I’m damn good with this kind of thought..ahli fikir I ni..sesuai join group penyanyi ahli fiqir tu..jadik private investigator pun ok.

Rubbish also.

Then after picking up Irina,I went to pharmacy to buy herbs for my digestive problem(yess, I do have constipation problem) and there’s one mid-age lady with wavy-colored hair stand in front of the counter chatting with the cashier, i was standing behind her to pay for my stuff and they just ignored me..urghh!almost 10mins I stood there like a dungu people and heard over their conversation..”maid I batuk la..i nak ubat batuk yg tak ngantuk sbb nak drive nnti sng..anak I check-up kat klinik bla bla bagus bla bla..and I was like ‘ehem’ and sighed behind her yeah..giving her a sign of losing my patience. That woman finished and when she wants to walk off,she said to me..”excuse me,I need to go out!”kasar n rude..yess,I was obstructing her way as a sign of annoyance. To be well-mannered and taknak malukan hubby yg tgh tunggu kat luar I kept quiet and she walked away. I should even said:

Oh ok,get lost then..or

Oh sorry makcik, i shouldn’t mess with an old woman like you that forever stuck in a menapous or

Wah..good la makcik, old people who’s about to die like you still have inspiration to dye and do hair hah

And all this rubbish kept on playing inside my head. Kenapa tak ckp macam tu,kenapa tak cakap macam ni..so much rubbish la inside my head..btw makcik..dont u think u r the only one in this world that had a bad day,i had my bad day too..and jgn ingat dah perm ngan warnakan rambut pastu ada maid kat umah u could be rude to anyone, at least u dont have to rush back home to cook for yr family after a long tired working day,not like me, my time is very precious ok..tak cool langsung la u makcik..

Because of all the junks and rubbish thing la, I was like ‘hang’ this morning..not blurr but hang,my brain hang mcm computer yg hang. Instead of making a right turn to Irina’s nursery, I was making a u-turn to make my way to the office,and shortly I realized that I should dropped Irina at the nursery first..lucky that I realized it early,if not I’ll be coming to the office together with Irina, tak pasal2 kena nyorokkan Irina kat bwh meja..so much rambles and crap and rubbish inside my brain, that’s y la otak hang..dosa ngan makcik rambut ombak tu pun iyer gak kot..astagfirullah..ampunkan lah dosa hambaMu yg lemah ini..

CNY Hols-Part 1

Location: Muar
Date: Friday (27/01/06) – Sunday (29/01/06)

I lurrvee being here..my little hometown, my home sweet home..tenang, aman damai dan tak hiruk pikuk mcm kat KL…kitaorang tiba rumah muar lbh kurang pukul 3 ptg, kul 11 pagi bertolak dr KL..singgah ofis hubby kat seremban la, mkn2 kat ayer keroh..tu yg sampai lambat tu..aku ng hubby apply leave start ari jumaat, punya la sakan nak cuti pjg ngalahkan kitaorg lak nak beraya..tak lama pas we all sampai, angah (my bro), his wife and lil hero Marwan sampai..after a while Ija sefamily lak sampai (Qistina and lil bam bam Aliff are soo adorable!)..so 4 of us dah sampai kecuali adik (my youngest sis) yg still bekerja hari tu(eleh poyo2 kerja je tu)..mlm baru sampai agaknya.

Semua blk and berkumpul adik beradik sbb esoknya (Sabtu 28/01) ada buat kenduri doa selamat dan aqiqah Mohd Aliff Iqbal yg dah berumur 4bln. Sekejap je dah besar syg mak teh ni, remember on Sept last year I blogged about his arrival into this world?the baby with the voice of juara karaoke?remember?yess he’s the one..makin comel and still have that ‘juara karaoke’ voice heheh..

So on Saturday 28/01 dr pagi sampai ptg kami adik beradik sibuk buat persiapan utk kenduri, tukang masak dtg awal2 pagi nak masak lauk kambing briani, nasik minyak, ayam masak merah, dalca daging dan pencuk/acar. Tengokkan gaya mcm nak buat kenduri kawin, lauk pauk berperiuk2, takpe la lgpun dah lama tak buat kenduri camni kumpul sedara mara..so this time buatlah meriah sikit..hah pagi tu smpt lagi kami adik beradik wish mak happy b’day yg ke-55, along sempat lagi adun choc kek utk mak..Mak we love u much!u r the best Mak ever!semoga pjg umur dan kehidupan dilimpahi rahmat amin..

Mlm tu kenduri start lps maghrib..semuanya berjln lancar even at the beginning baby Aliff awal2 dah ‘mengalunkan’ suara dia hihi..tp masa cukur jambul dia senyap lak, maintain comel ng montel jer orangnya..Mr .R.A antara org2 tersibuk gak mlm tu, dia antara org terpenting memastikan lauk pauk cukup dihidang kat tetamu di luar..everything settled at about 11pm, relatives were back home then and our house was like turning upside down, tunggang langgang..tlg2 kemas and membasuh mana yg patut..

the next day (Sunday 29/01) was another tiring day for me, hubby and Irina..a looong journey back to Terengganu all the way from Muar-cuti seminggu sempena CNY, so berbahagi2 la blk dua kg..satu kat selatan, satu kat pantai timur, kena adil baru hidup aman bahagia laki bini anak beranak..said hello to the beautiful beaches and nice scenery of preserved Terengganu!

@#$%&^!!

A nursery case again..ptg selasa 24/01 aku spt biasa ambik irina dr nursery lps kerja..bdn penat, otak penat..the only thing that could brighten my tired pathetic day was to see irina with her big grin everytime i took her back from nursery..but instead of seeing her big broad smile, apa yg aku nampak ptg tu ialah ' a big broad swollen' part kat tepi dahi irina..masyaAllah punya la besar..nurseri ckp irina langgar dinding masa tgh cuba nak berjln, but aku bwk jumpa doc ptg tu, doc ckp mustahil langgar dinding boleh jadi benjol sebesar tu.ada org ckp besar telur, besar bola golf pun iyer gak...doc suruh monitor irina, tgk kalau ada perubahan..aktif ke tak, nangis ke, muntah2 ke or kurang nak mkn, maknanya ada internal bleeding and kena terus refer dia kat spital-mmg rasa nak nangis n jerit n nak maki hamun budak nursery:

1. seteruk mana pun keadaannya jaga budak2 kat nurseri tu, pentingkan keselamatan dulu esp kat toddler yg baru nak berjln...aku suspect irina jatuh tangga or budak lain tertolak masa dia nak berjln, if dia jln n jatuh sendiri takde nya benjol besar tu, dia jln bukan laju sampai boleh nak benjol besar tu..tak lojik la oii

2. dahi anak aku dah benjol satu hal, korang nak tipu lak ckp langgar dinding..ingat aku bodoh ke hapa hah u frakky idiot!what if something bad happen and we really need to know of the real situation, if u tell me lies, meaning i will lie to the doc too and the diagnosis will be incoherent and inaccurate ..sapa nak tanggung hah kalau jadik pape??crap!rubbish!

i took EL the next day to monitor her condition..alhamdulillah..no sign of lethargic, vomitting, pass-out etc..dia sihat, bermain spt biasa an always on top gear..

sian anak aku..

" hey u nursery fella!just watchout! wait till i know how to converse, i 'll tell mommy and abah of what exactly happen..u'll be dead meat then occay!"

papehal pun, dah 2 minggu benda ni jadik, benjol kat dahi pun dah baik..tapi last week masa cuti CNY kat terengganu, Irina demam panas, and kluar bintik2 merah kat bdn..aik??takkan measles lagi?masa umur 4 bln dia kena dah, ni kena lagi?maybe ni lah dugaan utk aku laki bini, ada jer penyakit2 dtg kat irina..masalah lain takde, irina sng nak jaga, tak byk songeh tp tu la dia slalu kena sakit(so far takde yg serius la..alhamdulillah)..aku laki bini redha..cuma yg termampu ialah berdoa irina sentiasa diberikan kesihatan yg baik dan mampu membesar dgn normal dan sihat..skarang irina kat muar under my parents' care, since dia kena campak,aku taknak letak dia kat nursery..dah seminggu berpisah ngan dia, miss dia sgt2, rasa nak nangis lak tgk gambar dia dgn dahi benjol ni..sob sob..i should stop typing now..