Rambles in my head

Life has been pretty tough lately..work like a dog, rush back home and do all the housewife thing..it’s like..urghh!! Frankly, i love my duty as a wife n mommy, but somehow with extra pressure and workload in the office, I’m just getting sick ..life is getting sickening and I’m sick of my office environment..i’m not physically tired but hate my office, the people there and my working life..

SICK OF THE JOURNEY TO OFFICE
SICK OF THE ENVIRONMENT IN OFFICE
SICK OF THE PEOPLE WHOSE PRIDE ARE ERUPTING OVER THEIR HEAD

Hmmm.

I’ve been an absent-minded person lately, is it because of my working life pressure, or being a super busy working mommy, or is it because of me thinking to much..i dunno. I guess I think a lot..a lot of things inside my head. I always think and brainstorm about anything/anyone be it working matters or rubbish thought.. like yesterday I was late from office and I rushed back home like hell and while driving, nothing else in my head except of thinking very HARD of what to cook...irina is now sharing a meal with us,meaning she’s now taking a rice with any lauk pauk that I cooked .. so to adjust with hubby and my baby’s appetite is aint easy..there must be kuah yg tak pedas,then sambal utk dapatkan pedas then ikan/ayam/telur goreng and also veggies..sometimes I really ran out of idea of what to cook, blank..everyday fikir benda yg sama..so cool huh my brain exercise…tough job I tell you..

then, while driving i was listening to HOT.FM and there’s one caller on air tell on how she accidentally caught her husband cheating on her..

“ satu hari tu suami saya terhantar salah msg kat saya, dia nak hantar kat gf dia tp terhantar kat saya..msg tu tulis..sori fifi abg takleh call,abg busy harini kita ckp esok la yer,rindu kat fifi..”

“dahtu awak tak marah suami awak ke” asked the DJ…”marah..dan skarang budak perempuan tu bakal menjadi madu saya..”

The world has stopped making sense.

Then I think again..after perah2 otak pecah kepala memikir on what to cook, I think about this caller..i tried to put myself at her place..what if my hubby did the same thing?what if there’s another woman in his life besides me?what if he asks for polygamy?what if..what if..it dragged on till I reached home dan tak semena2 I felt suspicious..ni tadi on the way balik laki aku tak call pun mcm slalu, ada apa2 ke ni?ni msg bunyi ni ntah sapa ler tu..and the cerekarama goes on and on..mmm,good example on the Cause and Effect subject...crazy heh? See I told u,I’m damn good with this kind of thought..ahli fikir I ni..sesuai join group penyanyi ahli fiqir tu..jadik private investigator pun ok.

Rubbish also.

Then after picking up Irina,I went to pharmacy to buy herbs for my digestive problem(yess, I do have constipation problem) and there’s one mid-age lady with wavy-colored hair stand in front of the counter chatting with the cashier, i was standing behind her to pay for my stuff and they just ignored me..urghh!almost 10mins I stood there like a dungu people and heard over their conversation..”maid I batuk la..i nak ubat batuk yg tak ngantuk sbb nak drive nnti sng..anak I check-up kat klinik bla bla bagus bla bla..and I was like ‘ehem’ and sighed behind her yeah..giving her a sign of losing my patience. That woman finished and when she wants to walk off,she said to me..”excuse me,I need to go out!”kasar n rude..yess,I was obstructing her way as a sign of annoyance. To be well-mannered and taknak malukan hubby yg tgh tunggu kat luar I kept quiet and she walked away. I should even said:

Oh ok,get lost then..or

Oh sorry makcik, i shouldn’t mess with an old woman like you that forever stuck in a menapous or

Wah..good la makcik, old people who’s about to die like you still have inspiration to dye and do hair hah

And all this rubbish kept on playing inside my head. Kenapa tak ckp macam tu,kenapa tak cakap macam ni..so much rubbish la inside my head..btw makcik..dont u think u r the only one in this world that had a bad day,i had my bad day too..and jgn ingat dah perm ngan warnakan rambut pastu ada maid kat umah u could be rude to anyone, at least u dont have to rush back home to cook for yr family after a long tired working day,not like me, my time is very precious ok..tak cool langsung la u makcik..

Because of all the junks and rubbish thing la, I was like ‘hang’ this morning..not blurr but hang,my brain hang mcm computer yg hang. Instead of making a right turn to Irina’s nursery, I was making a u-turn to make my way to the office,and shortly I realized that I should dropped Irina at the nursery first..lucky that I realized it early,if not I’ll be coming to the office together with Irina, tak pasal2 kena nyorokkan Irina kat bwh meja..so much rambles and crap and rubbish inside my brain, that’s y la otak hang..dosa ngan makcik rambut ombak tu pun iyer gak kot..astagfirullah..ampunkan lah dosa hambaMu yg lemah ini..