Blow the candle off!

Then...Little Irina, 1 day old

I have no clue of me be a mommy to Iman Irina that nite, I have no idea what so ever of getting myself ready for the labor process, never across my mind I’m gonna hold, kiss and smell my own flesh and blood that nite, why?because there’s no indication of me giving birth to Iman Irina at that particular time..no waterbag leakage, no spotting, no contraction..she was overdued for 2 days..the expected due date was supposed to be 19th March 2005(Saturday), and the best part was on the due date itself I attended wedding ceremony..masa tu doa berkepuk2 jgn la terberanak kat majlis kahwin org, bikin gempak je..

so on Sunday 20th March 2005 nothing happened up to Monday (21st March 2005) nite..no sign of giving birth,nothing! just a mild contraction that strike once in a while..but one thing I felt very obvious and conscious about was baby’s movement inside my tummy..i couldn't feel it, usually she was very active dancing and kicking inside me but not that day and I was frantically worried bout it..my anxiousness was high up till evening and I just did whatever I could to make my baby move..i shaked my tummy (yess I really do that),tried to talk to her but I could feel that she was so weak, she moved her body very bit..i really felt like crying..kata2 doktor Yusof terngiang2 masa ni..”yg penting u kena monitor pergerakan baby, u must be worry if dia tak bergerak aktif spt selalu and if this happen,pls go to the hospital immediately..”-menangis atas katil, called hubby and told him of the situation and around 9 o clock that nite we rushed to the hospital..they scan, do some heartbeat check up and the result..my baby was getting weaker, dia dah berak dlm perut and her heartbeat was slower and it was really not a good news to hear.”I do not want to induce you, I don’t want to take a risk since induce process will take 8-12 hrs for u to give birth and I don’t think your baby can hold that long..so another 1 hour we’ll do the c-section”..and I burst out…I was worried about my baby's condition, I was panicked to undergo c-section process,I was not ready to give birth that night,hey my waterbag hadn’t breakout yet, where’s the contraction momentum?i berlenggang kangkung pergi hospital sehelai sepinggang how come u asked me to beranak that nite?

hubby with tears(yess he cried!) rushed back home to take my bag, baby’s bag and bawak ma pergi spital sekali..mak and abah?kat muar mendoakan kesejahteraan aku dr jauh. So I was wheeled to the O.T at about 11pm, there was quite a big crowd at the hospital lobby and most of them were hubby’s fren!dia mngumpulkan kawan2 sanak sedara bersesak2 kat spital sbb takut bini dah nak beranak..one shot of spinal anesthesia , kaki kebas and I felt drowsy and numb dan masa ni lah perut kena lapah..tepat jam 11.53 mlm 21st march 2005, Iman Irina arrived into this world..so that was my experience of giving birth to my first beloved child..

and yesterday she turned 1 year old already..mmg terasa mcm baru beranakkan dia, mcm baru breastfeedkan dia, mcm baru belajar salinkan nappy dia and luka kat perut ni pun tak hilang ngilu dia lagi..my confinement period?gosh!Irina really gave me a hard time, she slept the whoooole day and awoke the whoooole nite, I was not having a good sleep, I had problem to cope with my new life routine as a mother, my eyes swollen and I had a big dark eyebag, my body was totally mengembang n out of shape, my hair buruk, my skin develop allergic against anesthesia and red dots was popping put, itchy like ‘toot’! my hubby was not with me and I was so into deep post-natal depression..yupp..baby blues time dan aku hampir2 nak berlari keliling rumah meroyan,nasib tak jadik..

My baby is growing up, yesterday she turned 1 year old already!i love her so much and so proud of her!mommy and abah syg Irina,happy birthday sweetie!

Now..not so little Irina, 1 year old